How O.J. Simpson Ruined My America

Forget his botched book deal and national tour which would explain how he would have murdered his ex-wife, if he had done it, which he hadn’t, but supposing what if, this is how he would do it. Who thinks like that.

Let’s flashback to fourteen years ago, more or less, back to more innocent times. I’m in Berlin, in a living room, watching World Cup Soccer – excuse me, Football – with my friends Peter, Karsten and Jens. This is after nearly a year of living in a former Eastern Bloc country, and I’m making my final tour before flying back home to the U.S. for the rest of my life. They’re drinking beer and Red Bull and they’ve just explained the rules of World Cup Football or whatever you call it. These are the rules:

  1. No talking.
  2. If you have to ask a question, wait for the commercial break.
  3. If it’s an important question, write it down and we’ll discuss during the commercial break.

So far, so good, but maybe twenty minutes into it this game is interrupted for an special emergency announcement. We are now watching from a helicopter camera O.J. Simpson in a high speed car chase on the highways of Southern California.

This is more important than the World Cup? What is wrong with your country, my German friends demand. 

As the sole American representative, it is I who must make the apologies.

“Comrades,” I say. “You know German media. They like to make mountains out of molehills. This is nothing. Before you know it, we’ll forget all about this O.J. Simpson character.”

The game continues and I take a train to Liege, then Amsterdam and then I fly home. Into the fire.


About katiekelly

I grew up in a parking lot.
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