Bingo Arms

For a young lady nearing her mid-life crisis, there are likely very few things more devastating to the psyche than one’s looking in the mirror and realizing she has developed a case of bingo arms.

You know what bingo arms are. Think.

The only thing worse would be “muffin top,” which is that extra belly floating over the top of one’s low-rise jeans, but one need not be reaching middle age for this malady. And I don’t have it. Yeah me.

Bingo arms are an entirely different affliction, as losing weight — while maybe the great cure-all for muffin top — can only aggrivate the condition.

I so far only know of a handful of ways not to combat the emotional burden, which I have developed through time and experience.

1. Don’t ask your boyfriend, “Do I really have bingo arms?” Because he might answer in the affirmative and he might just recommend lyposuction.

It’s never good to hear things like that.

2. Don’t do hundreds of arm curls and arm extensions and other exercises with two and four pound weights while simultaneously pedaling your trainer in your kitchen in your optimal fat burning aerobic zone, thinking that this will gently sculpt the affected area, while giving you a tremendous, full-body workout. Because what will really happen is your arms will turn into useless, sore, dangling, flabby limbs within the next 72 hours. Friends at social gatherings will ask you if you’ve developed a palsy.

3. It’d be better embrace your bingo arms.


About katiekelly

I grew up in a parking lot.
This entry was posted in Beauty, Fitness, Random Ramblings. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Bingo Arms

  1. you crack me up, Katie! I have to admit that since I’ve re-lost the 55 pounds I gained due to thyroid, I’ve got bingo arms. and my doc says that because of my age, my skin won’t snap back as quickly as it would if I were 25 (or it won’t snap back at all). woe is me!

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