Parenting Skills as Heard on Caltrain

There are things that you can say to your children to make them behave, as I heard on the Caltrain going back to San Francisco last Monday.

“Woowoowoo, Mommy loves you so much! I’m just going to eat you up, you’re so cute!”

This is the unconditional love part. We have not yet reached the behavioral modification part. 

In the background, there was an inexplicable deafening noise coming from one of the seats that I could not see. I believe that some behavioralists call this whining.

“And to you, if you don’t behave, Mommy’s going to sell you when we get off the train.”


“I’m going to sell you, and then you know what I’ll do with the money? I’ll buy lots of candy.”

“Yeah, right.”

“And I won’t have to share it with you, either.”

“Yes you will.”

“No, I won’t, because you’ll be somewhere else.”

I offer no judgement but it worked.


About katiekelly

I grew up in a parking lot.
This entry was posted in Scare Tactics, Things I Bet You Didn't Know, Transit Tails. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Parenting Skills as Heard on Caltrain

  1. indi says:

    Other parental true-stories: my Mom and Dad would threaten to give me to an Indian Chief, and they would say, “Oh look, there’s one on that corner there!” Now, I had no fear of Indian Chiefs, but the fact that they could see one and I couldn’t, and they wanted to give me away, was enough to make me behave.

    My friend Matt –his parents would say they were sending him to the orphanage. They’d actually pack up his suitcase, pick up the phone, pretend to dial and speak to the orphanage, then send him and his suitcase out to the sidewalk to wait for the car to pick him up. This one makes me die laughing! Can you imagine this poor scared little boy with a suitcase full of his things?

  2. katiekelly says:

    Yes, I can imagine this poor scared boy. I guess if you’re trying to discipline your child, and you don’t want to resort to corporal punishment, a little psychological torture probably never hurt anyone that much, in the long run. Probably.

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