You Know You Got Up Too Early in the Morning When…

You know you got up too early in the morning when you get home from your 6:30 a.m. group ride and learn that you wore your underwear underneath your cycling shorts.


cc71.jpgI shall now provide you with some photographic evidence of why I need to develop my criterium strategy. First, I offer you Exhibit A, seen to our left. This is my teammate Cecelia Altamirano, from last Sunday’s Wente Criterium. Notice her calm demeanor in the middle of a pack of cyclists that could take her out and leave her splat on the pavement without a moment’s notice.

This, my friends, is how you’re supposed to ride in a criterium. The whole objective is to try to ride near the front, but still behind one or two people so that they can block the wind, until you round that final corner and sprint to the finish. While this all sounds very easy to do, hypothetically, you have to remember that everyone wants to be in that spot. So, to protect your position, you must ride within centimeters of the wheel in front of you.  That that person could go down without a moment’s notice should not be cause for concern, because this is a criterium, and you’re not supposed to think about these things.

kkwentecrit2.jpgI now offer you Exhibit B. Me. This first image gives the illusion that I am indeed riding in the pack, but I am not. I am actually more than fifty feet behind the wheel I should be behind. At least my fingers aren’t on the brakes, like they are in all the other pictures.

So we only had two crashes in the race, and I avoided them with ease, thanks to my huge safety buffer.

kkwentecrit.jpgExhibit C fully exemplifies my true form. Here I have a good half a lap of safety buffer. They might all drop me, but there’s no way they’re bringin’ me down, no way, sister!


So I’ve been thinking of taking up time trialing.


About katiekelly

I grew up in a parking lot.
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3 Responses to You Know You Got Up Too Early in the Morning When…

  1. indi says:

    So maybe I *should* start riding again, if huge safety buffers are allowed. Eh? 😉

  2. katiekelly says:

    I think safety buffers are only of concern when they grow so large that you are lapped, in which case you are now a road hazard. So I try not to let the buffer grow that large.

  3. donna says:

    You have to try a TT Katie.You are a natural.I have decided to keep my Felt TT bike and loan it to any of the women on the team.It would fit you,Nikole and CC beautifully.

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