Hypnotic Race Strategies

Maybe 200 yards or less from the finish last year at our Women’s 4 race at Mt. Hamilton, it was raw instinct that got me to the finish line first (really second, but the winner dropped us in the first four minutes).

“On your left,” I said, without hesitating. The two in front of me in our little break group politely moved over for me.

I spent the next 199 yards marveling over what I had just said, and that it actually worked.

I know that it’ll never work again. So I’m going to try this. If you’re racing this Monday at the Giro de San Francisco in the Women’s 3 race, please read the following in a very relaxed state.

You’re breathing very, very deeply. Sleep, you want to fall asleep.

But you keep reading in this non-judgemental, relaxed state. Keep reading, very, very slowly. You are racing this Monday. It is a beautiful day, warm to moderate temperatures. You are surrounded by friends. You are very calm, very happy. Keep breathing. Katie Kelly is in this race. You love Katie Kelly. Keep breathing. You let Katie get in front of you. You say, “Please, Katie, have my space.” Your eyelids are very heavy now. You want Katie to break away, in your very relaxed state. Now she’s jumping off the front. Keep breathing. She is dropping all of you and this is okay. You aren’t going to chase. You aren’t going to chase. You aren’t going to chase. She’s winning the race. Sleep, go to sleep.

Let’s see if this one works.


About katiekelly

I grew up in a parking lot.
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5 Responses to Hypnotic Race Strategies

  1. Chris says:

    I even want you to win after reading that.

  2. katiekelly says:

    It’s working! It’s working!

  3. lauren says:

    i’ll surely be sleeping in my bed while you gals are all racing.


  4. vanderpoop says:

    holy crap, that’s totally my strategy!

    victory is but a few short, hypnotic swings of the pendulum away.

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