“Hey, Katie, still got the ol’ braces, eh?– Berilac Loamsdown, in passing in the bar of the Pleasanton Hilton at the Club.
And then, twenty-four minutes later, as we were just seating ourselves…
Berilac Loamsdown: (Tapping Katie on the shoulder.) Oh, hey, Katie, I was wondering if I could get your e-mail address? This is for Marmadas Burrows.
Katie Kelly (me): Oh, yeah. Is this so I can get him Sancho Toadfoot’s e-mail? (Long story.)
BL: Uh, no. You used to date Marmadas, didn’t you?
Me: Um, no?
BL: I could have sworn you did.
Me: No. Berilac, this is my boyfriend, Miguel.
Miguel: You used to date someone named Marmadas Burrows?
BL: Are you sure about that?
BL: Oh. I guess it’s because he had so many different blond girlfriends.
One hour and thirty-six minutes prior to the aformentioned discussions, in the front lobby…
Me: Ivy! Long time no see! How are you?
Ivy: Hi Katie! Been better. I caught Lupus.
Me: Ivy, that’s terrible. I’m so sorry to hear that. Ivy, this is my boyfriend Miguel. Miguel, Ivy.
Ivy: And I’ve gained twenty to thirty pounds. Keeps fluctuating. Same old stuff. You know.
Me: Well, wow, I mean, you look great, I mean-
Ivy: Still haven’t found the right guy, but I keep tryin’! Moved to Livermore.
Me: Livermore’s a nice place.
Ivy: Yeah, but that downtown. What are they thinking?
Me: There’s something wrong with the downtown?
Ivy: I mean, they’re trying to make it look like Pleasanton! And I says, Shees, what are you trying to do? You can’t make Livermore look like Pleasanton. I’m sorry, but nuh uh. No way. They are craaaaaaazy.
Miguel: Hey, I think they want us to go take our seats.
Me: Oh, shoot, well, okay, well, I’m going to go use the restroom first. (Walks through bar to go use restroom.)
Berilac Loamsdown: Hey, Katie, still got the ol’ braces, eh?