Random Transcripts from the Reunion

“Hey, Katie, still got the ol’ braces, eh?– Berilac Loamsdown, in passing in the bar of the Pleasanton Hilton at the Club.

And then, twenty-four minutes later, as we were just seating ourselves…

Berilac Loamsdown: (Tapping Katie on the shoulder.) Oh, hey, Katie, I was wondering if I could get your e-mail address? This is for Marmadas Burrows.

Katie Kelly (me): Oh, yeah. Is this so I can get him Sancho Toadfoot’s e-mail? (Long story.)

BL: Uh, no. You used to date Marmadas, didn’t you?

Me: Um, no?

BL: No?

Me: No.

BL: I could have sworn you did.

Me: No. Berilac, this is my boyfriend, Miguel.

Miguel: You used to date someone named Marmadas Burrows?

Me: No!

BL: Are you sure about that?

Me: Yes!

BL: Oh. I guess it’s because he had so many different blond girlfriends.

One hour and thirty-six minutes prior to the aformentioned discussions, in the front lobby…

Me: Ivy! Long time no see! How are you?

Ivy: Hi Katie! Been better. I caught Lupus.

Me: Ivy, that’s terrible. I’m so sorry to hear that. Ivy, this is my boyfriend Miguel. Miguel, Ivy.

Ivy: And I’ve gained twenty to thirty pounds. Keeps fluctuating. Same old stuff. You know.

Me: Well, wow, I mean, you look great,  I mean-

Ivy: Still haven’t found the right guy, but I keep tryin’! Moved to Livermore.

Me: Livermore’s a nice place.

Ivy: Yeah, but that downtown. What are they thinking?

Me: There’s something wrong with the downtown?

Ivy: I mean, they’re trying to make it look like Pleasanton! And I says, Shees, what are you trying to do? You can’t make Livermore look like Pleasanton. I’m sorry, but nuh uh. No way. They are craaaaaaazy.

Miguel: Hey, I think they want us to go take our seats.

Me: Oh, shoot, well, okay, well, I’m going to go use the restroom first. (Walks through bar to go use restroom.)

Berilac Loamsdown: Hey, Katie, still got the ol’ braces, eh?


About katiekelly

I grew up in a parking lot.
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One Response to Random Transcripts from the Reunion

  1. lauren says:

    so far i’ve skipped all my reunions. i’m not sure why. my time was fine there. i had a bf most of the time, ran cross country and swam and got laid a lot.

    i think it just reminds me that i’m getting older.

    maybe if i could cherry pick who was going to be there then i’d go.

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