A Shocking and Critical Look at White People

Imagine my horror today when I logged into WordPress to discover today’s blog of the day, Stuff White People Like. Of course, I felt I should click that link, just to satisfy my queasy curiosity. I feared more of that “white pride” spiel that we hear from time to time, from white people who feel victimized and discriminated against, by whatever minority group is the most convenient to blame. These are the same people who, if they actually learned to spell and use punctuation properly, might even get a job, but it’s so much easier to blame other people.

What I found was so much worse.

It is a painful, accurate read. I thought I was leading an interesting, fulfilling life. No, I’m just a typical, boring white person. Don’t believe me? Well, consider the bicycle, if you will. I found myself identifying with nearly every word in every single paragraph, with a particular emphasis on the European city bike. The European city bike is my utopian ideal. I didn’t know that all white women felt this way!

But let us not stop there. What about all my tales about studying abroad in Europe? Well, I did not actually study there, but close enough. I thought I was adventuresome, open to new cultures. No, it turns out, I’m just white.

And lastly, because I just can’t take it anymore, let’s talk about coffee. I do not have anything to add to this.

I won’t even talk about Barrack Obama.

Why even have a blog anymore. This blog sees through all my white shit.

Disclaimer: Some of the comments are by stupid white people, although they can be funny, even though that is not the intent. Not all white people think or act like those stupid white people. But the blog is accurate. Read the one about moving to Canada. I’ve always threatened Switzerland, however, but I think that corresponds to the “studying abroad” idea. It’s all the same.

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About katiekelly

I grew up in a parking lot.
This entry was posted in Animal Kingdom, Breaking News!, Things I Bet You Didn't Know. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to A Shocking and Critical Look at White People

  1. donna says:

    Excellent satirical blog.
    My # 78 is Surfing.
    White people are now saying they are “avid surfers” because they are desperate to be cool in the alternative lifestyle sorta way.Never mind they took one lesson in Maui on their vacation just so they could say this.Some of us old white folk did it in the day when all surfers were called bums.Now it’s a huge commercial money making industry which has made it lose points on the very cool alternative lifestyle scale,but white people have to be careful not to get too far down the scale because then people might think they are weird or a bum and they need that career to keep going to Maui or Aspen so they have other white folk to tell they are an “avid” surfer to.

  2. katiekelly says:

    You are right. White people love to surf.

  3. katiekelly says:

    I’ve never surfed.

  4. katiekelly says:

    At first I thought you meant on the Internet.

  5. donna says:

    I had lunch at a Pho noodle place today and there was only one other white person there.I felt so cool.

  6. donna says:

    Now you’ve done it Katie-I’m thinking way too much about what white people like and I’m hearing a voice in my head that sounds like Woody Allen.

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