Three Strikes I’m Out

I didn’t think my apartment was that bad, until its third visitor felt it was time to have The Conversation. Somehow, I had taken the friend running out the door, screaming, after using my bathroom, and the stray comment, “It looks like it’s been hit by a typhoon,” as biased reactions from anal retentive people.

Enter The Conversation. I don’t really know how to describe it, but it’s the kind of thing a girl never wants to hear. What a nutcase I must look like. I can’t believe I’m even exposing this deep and dark and dirty secret (and oh is it) to the world.

So after my morning ride, I accepted my personal responsibility and proceeded to throw out my back while cleaning off a computer monitor.

I really cannot believe it. Such a simple manuever, the most subtle of moves. I felt a snap, and thought, Oh, that’s funny, that felt like my lower back, ha ha. Then I noticed difficulties lifting objects, and moving, in general, and some tingling in my feet.

Perhaps a hot shower will help, I reasoned. And I could barely lift my left leg, and then I realized this is a problem.

How did I suddenly become an old woman? I mean, aside from just getting older. There was an actual trigger point. Something caused this.

My kitchen will meet the health code, but I ask you, The People, is cleaning worth the health risks?

DO NOT ANSWER THAT QUESTION, IT WAS RHETORICAL. Some anti-inflammatories, a glass of red wine, I am doing fine (read: better), and I can make my way to the bathroom without tripping, so there is a silver lining. I’ll figure out where to sit later.


About katiekelly

I grew up in a parking lot.
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6 Responses to Three Strikes I’m Out

  1. My two favorite things: wine and cleaning. Okay, okay… I HATE to clean. We have a DUMPSTER arriving today to empty out our garage and closets, as there are no room for cars OR clothes. Both important. ching ching!

  2. pedro says:

    dumpster indeed. it’s always so invigorating – freeing even – to take a survey of all things not used in 12 months, and throw them away (or if they still have use to someone, give them away).

    congrats on the new leaf. if you hate cleaning as much as i hate shopping (for food even), hire a nice person to come once a month and do your dirty work.

  3. The dumpster is AFTER the 15+ construction sized garbage bags full of toys and clothes taken to Goodwill. I’m NOT kidding.

  4. Kevin says:

    Hey Katie,

    If the bathroom had truely looked like “It looks like it’s been hit by a typhoon,”

    I doubt that anyone Anal Retentive had used it – as that would kind of eliminate the possibility of said typhoon?


  5. katiekelly says:

    Yes, Kevin, you are correct. It is far safer to say that no Anal Retentive person has even seen the bathroom. One step into my hallway would send them out the door.

  6. Kevin says:

    Love your blog Katie! It makes me laugh!

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