I Wish I Could Write this Bad

Jeanne Villa of Novato just won the romance category in the annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest. Contestants submit the worst possible opening sentence they can think of.

Villa’s winning entry reads as follows:

Bill swore the affair had ended, but Louise knew he was lying, after discovering Tupperware containers under the seat of his car, which were not the off-brand containers that she bought to save money, but authentic, burpable, lidded Tupperware; and she knew he would see that woman again, because unlike the flimsy, fake containers that should always be recycled responsibly, real Tupperware must be returned to its rightful owner.

I don’t know if I could write that bad if I tried.

You can read the whole article, and even hear the author’s spoken rendition of it, in the Marin Independent Journal here. Or read more about this historical contest.


About katiekelly

I grew up in a parking lot.
This entry was posted in Art, Life in Marin, Literature, Things I Bet You Didn't Know. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to I Wish I Could Write this Bad

  1. pedro says:

    I’m no literary genius, but that is actually a pretty descriptive, mood setting, tone describing sentence which enables the readers – those astute enough to pick up on its subtleties – to immerse themselves in the pain and confusion of the poor woman’s struggle to come to terms with the fact that Bill is indeed cheating, if not at least receiving leftovers from another woman, or man.

  2. katiekelly says:

    I felt the same way, Pedro. That first sentence left me longing for more.

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