I’ve been taken prisoner by Facebook. I feel little compelled to even express myself on my blog.
Why write updates on my blog, when I can condense my life into one meaningful statement in Facebook?
Today I needed a nap.
The other day I was scheming, and before that, I was very, very, very angry with AT&T.
I am still angry with AT&T. I can’t make long distance calls on my home phone. The phone beeps at me when I try. This is not my fault.
But you don’t need to know this, and Facebook limits these updates to only a few characters, so all you get is all you really need to know, anyway.
Someone once asked me how I was — this was a live, interpersonal conversation — and before I could answer she said, “Stop, stop. I’ll just read about it on your blog.”
Fair enough, but now all she needs is a Facebook account, and we can dispense with these trivialities altogether. If she joined Facebook, she wouldn’t even need to ask.
The reason why I know she doesn’t have a Facebook account is because the last time I saw her — again, in another real time face-to-face conversation, at the swimming pool — she was telling us about her family’s vacation to New York, all the sights they had seen, the plays, the trips to the park, what she thought of it, what her husband thought, how the kids reacted.
I was dumbstruck, because I was had forgotten just how many words a human being could articulate in just a few short minutes.
As her words trickled through my rocky ear canals, I felt confused. My mind struggled to comprehend. It was too much information.
I wanted to Alt + Tab away from the conversation, if only briefly, to see if I’d received any Notifications. It took every last ounce of concentration to focus on her facial expressions, another aspect of humanity I had nearly forgotten all about. Faces move. They are not two-dimentional stills in the Photos section.
If you do not know what I am talking about, I am reluctant to suggest that you join Facebook to understand what exactly I’m talking about. On the one hand, you would know what I’m talking about, but on the other hand, you might not ever read my blog again. There are more dire consequences than even that, but I just want to assure you that you have too much to live for. Don’t squander your life away on Facebook. Don’t. Just don’t do it!