I’m Not Normal

Lentils and Spinich, Yum!

Lentils and Spinich, Yum!

I know that no one is, but I lack normal woman genes, and sometimes I feel sad about it.

For example: I do not understand the concept of hanging up clothing. Nor do I understand the principles behind making a bed. That is a lot of effort for something you’re just going to mess up again. I still contemplate hypnotherapy, to rewire the untapped anal retentive nodes in my brain, but there are few anal retentive people that I like for long periods of time, so I struggle with my limitations on my own, naturally, daily.

As I’ve stated here before, I’ve hired a house cleaner who comes every three weeks, and her expertise has brought tremendous improvement to my apartment. But what about the other twenty days between visits?

I don’t understand the philosophy behind make up and the doing of one’s hair on a regular basis. It seems boring to me. I am envious of women who prioritize this. I cannot.

Let’s move onto my culinary talents. My Grandma Cathy once said that anyone who can read can cook. I can read.

So the fiasco in the above image cannot be my fault. The recipe called for frozen spinach. Nowhere in the recipe did it say you were supposed to thaw it first. How was I supposed to know?

It turns out that normal women know these things by intuition.

Does anyone know of a good hypnotist?

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About katiekelly

I grew up in a parking lot.
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3 Responses to I’m Not Normal

  1. Kelly says:

    you pick up your clothes because otherwise bugs get in your pants and then you wake up with lots of bug bites on your legs. not that this happened to me yesterday…

    i dont know if i want the gene where you freak out about shit that is not worth freaking out about

    • katiekelly says:

      I don’t have that gene, either, but think about this: it’s better to be the one who freaks out first. Then you “call” the freak out. You own it. I’ve already put a lot of thought into this, and I just haven’t blogged about it yet. But when you’re with your girlfriends, is there not one who freaks out first about everything? Is she not the defacto leader of the group, and now it’s everyone else’s job to make things better? This can be a powerful social tool. But I’m not sure that I want it.

      Maybe you and I are normal, and it’s everyone else who isn’t?

  2. Chris says:

    Dude – I mean Katie. Why fight it. I am totally with you on the bed thing. Making a bed has never made sense to me so I just don’t do it. Luckily my wife is on the same page.

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